We have diagnosis

We got the diagnosis for Kristen today. She is ASD, autistic. Wow, that was hard to write. It's not like we didn't know something was wrong with her. For me it's just hearing the 'professionals' say it. I'm happy because the funding that we get for her is huge! She will be able to have support all throughout school! It's just the label that people assume with it. Joe is also on the ASD, PDD-NOS. So it's not like we don't know where to go, or what to do with it.

I just get angry! Why does she have to have all of these challenges. Isn't there enough going on with her??!! Can't anything just be easy for her! CDH! ECMO! BRAIN INJURY! MILD KIDNEY DISEASE! HEARING LOSS! and now ASD!! I know that she will be fine, and I will be the biggest advocate for her. Joe is doing amazingly well with the supports that we have in place for him. So I have huge hope for Kristen. It doesn't change who she is to me. Or how I love her. It's just hard to know that there is something else going on with my little girl. I had these same feelings when I got Joe's diagnosis, so I know in a couple of weeks I'll be fine. In the mean time, I just get angry, and sad, and emotional, and worried about my children's future. I know from my stand point for the future that I will give them what they need, it's the worry of other kids/peers making them feel like less of a person. We all know it's a mean, hard world. I want to protect them and shelter them, but I know that that is not going to help prepare them for the real world. I don't treat them differently. I treat them like typical kids. They get in trouble just like a 'normal' kid would. They get toys like a 'normal' kid would. They get excited like 'normal' kids do...well maybe over different things, but excitement none the less.

I think that the pregnancy hormones are making this worse on me as well. I worry about Courtney. And now about the new baby. Is this something that all of them will have. No one can tell until it happens. It's not like I can stop it or have control over it either. I just hope that because it is now 2009, the awareness of everything around us is educating people to know what's out there and that 'different' isn't a scary thing. I can only have that hope. I do know that the reality is that it's not a reality yet!

Ok, now that I've gone on and on, I should try and get some rest, the little guy is kickin' up a storm telling me it's bed time!