Yep, I can say it...Kristen now goes pee pee on the potty. I thought that I'd never see the day come! But it's here! I'm so happy...it's so normal! But really what is normal??!! Not my household by the general publics opinions...but it's my normal. Courtney sure is cute when she goes, she does the deaf clap and says 'yay' It's so cute and funny. She cheers for Kristen as well. Now I know that number two's may be an issue, but it'll come with time. I can officially say that in the day time, i only have one kid in diaper's!
Now on another note. I've been so absorbed and my mind has been so stuck on the outcome in the future for Kenny. I wish that I could just enjoy him as a baby, but I want him to grow up so that we know what we will be dealing with. I've added a couple of links if you'd like to read them. If you don't that's fine too. I just figure it's easier than explaining everything myself.
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/975728-overview
The other thing that's now got my worries going is something called Infantile Spasms. Now I wouldn't have even known about them or what they looked like if it wasn't for another mom that I met on FB! Well, i'm not sure if Kenny is having them, but the movements sure look similar. I have an appointment with the Dr on Monday anyways so I can vent out on him then. i'm so frustrated! Everytime I go to the Pediatrician he asks if the neourologist has contacted me...and I keep saying no, should they have. And he just kind of looks at me. so this time, I'm going to let him know how I feel. The fact that I had to ask him for the MRI report even though I had left a message at BCCH for them to call me and fax me a copy of the report and NO ONE got back to me!
http://www.epilepsy.com/epilepsy/epilepsy_infantilespasms
I know how lucky that I am to have my kids with me. i just have trouble sometimes wracking my brain around how can these challenges happen to my kids. Why?? How come?? What are their futures going to look like?? I love them so much and there is so much inside of me with the unknown that scares me and breaks me up inside. Sorry, I just read the infantile spasms information last nite, and it just made me break down. Our brain is such a sensitive organ. And it can rewire itself, but sometimes there is just not enough for it rewire too. And I fear that Kenny may be that. He doesn't bring his hands to his mouth to play with them. He has no awareness of toys around him. He sometimes just looks right through you. We still don't know what he is or isn't seeing. Or if he will see. I know that he hears, because his demeanour sure changes when he hears me. And that means he needs to become my body wart and attach himself to me...lol! Again, I just wish that I could just be a mom, and be able to complain about normal things...like my kid always just wants my attention, or won't stop whining, or why can't he write his name yet he is 4 years old. My kids will always have to work so hard just to match their peers. It makes all of Courtney's developmental milestones seem so little, when they are still big.
Ok, I think that I've gotten some of my mind out again, so now maybe I can get a good nites sleep. It's hard when it's all in your brain and needs to come out. Whether someone is reading it or not.
Again, please know that I am so happy that I have my children with me, and i do appreciate the fact that I can hold them everyday. And trust me, I do. I make sure that I hold them tight.
No comments:
Post a Comment