Dr's appointment.

I took Kenny to the Pediatrition today. My gut feeling about the power puking and eyes made me feel that I needed to do that. I wasn't satisfied with what the dr's had said on Sat in the ER. So the dr is sending him for a head ultrasound, just to put that to rest for me. It's a possibility, but who really knows until we look. He's also sending him for an upper GI study. My feeling is that this may be the culprit. If there is something tight or loose with his tummy then it needs to be fixed with surgery. If it is none of the above, then we need stronger reflux meds. It's just so awful to watch a child reflux. It brings back the awful memories of going through this with Kristen. And of course all of the emotions of that time come rushing back. I just want one day for me not to be able to think about my kids in a 'clinical' or 'theraputic' way. I'd love to just be MOM! I know that that's not my path though. I know this in my head, but in my heart it hurts. I know in my head that everything happens for a reason, but again, not in my heart. I stay strong for my kids, because if I don't who will. Well I know someone will, but it's not their mommy!